Haveo · What to say at a networking event when you don't know anyone

The mistakes that actually cost you something

Almost none of the usual advice matters. The three that actually cost you are: never following up, trying to meet everyone, and asking for something before you have given anything. The rest is etiquette nobody is grading.

Not following up

This is the only one that costs something real. An evening of good conversations with no message afterwards produces exactly nothing.

It fails for a mechanical reason, not a character one: the detail is gone by the time you sit down to write. Take the note on the night.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Trying to meet everyone

Twenty introductions leaves twenty people who cannot say what you do. Two real conversations leaves two who can.

Circulating feels productive and is the most common way to end an evening with nothing.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Asking before giving

A request in the first conversation puts the other person in the position of saying no to a stranger, and most will avoid that by not replying at all.

Ask a question they can answer instead. The person who answered a question is the one who thinks of you later.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Talking only to the person you came with

A friend is a place to hide, and a pair reads as closed to everyone else in the room. Walk in together and split at the door.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Staying too long

An open-ended evening has no success condition, so it ends in the feeling that you should have done more, regardless of what happened.

Decide the end time before you arrive. Leaving on it, having done the thing, is what makes the next one answerable.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

What does not matter

A slightly awkward opener, forgetting a name, not having cards, leaving early. Saying something a bit odd and then thinking about it for a week.

Nobody else is keeping that record. You are the only person in the building running it.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

Download Haveo — free

Common questions

Is it a mistake to talk about myself?
Only if you do not stop. A rough rule: a question roughly every third thing you say keeps it a conversation.
What about drinking?
One is fine if you normally drink. The problem with more is the follow-up note you never take and the conversations you cannot reconstruct.
Is it bad to leave a conversation?
No — it is the expected behavior at an event, and doing it cleanly is a kindness. Being unable to leave one is what actually ruins evenings.
Get Haveo — free on the App Store