Haveo · Social anxiety at work

The office Christmas party

Arrive on time, stay ninety minutes, leave before it turns. The part people regret is almost always the late part — and the part that counts socially is the first hour, when people are still having actual conversations.

The first hour is the useful one

Early on it is a normal social event: people arrive, talk in small groups, and you can speak to someone properly.

Later it becomes loud, drunk and hard to leave. Nothing that happens then improves how the night is remembered.

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Decide the exit before you arrive

A time, and ideally a reason that exists — a train, an early start, someone expecting you. Say it early in the evening so leaving is expected rather than announced.

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The drinking

This is the event where it gets hardest to manage, because rounds are bought and glasses are topped up. Holding a drink you are not finishing solves most of it.

The people who regret the Christmas party are almost never the ones who left at ten.

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Who to talk to

Someone from another team you never normally speak to. It is the one useful thing these events do, it is a genuinely easy conversation, and it is the only part worth planning.

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The morning after

If you are replaying something you said, it is almost certainly smaller than it feels, and everyone else is doing the same about themselves.

Turn up. Turning up normally is what ends it; staying away is what makes a small thing into a story.

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Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

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Common questions

Can I just not go?
Once, yes, easily. It is the most noticed absence of the year, so if you are going to attend one thing, this is usually the efficient one to pick.
What if there are games or dancing?
You can decline both without explanation and nobody follows up. Standing near it is enough to have participated.
Secret Santa?
Do it — it is low effort and opting out is more conspicuous than joining in.
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