Haveo · Social anxiety at work
The performance review
Write your own version first. Most of the dread is not knowing what they will say, and the fastest way to remove it is to list what you did, what went badly, and what you want next — then send it before the meeting.
The dread is the unknown, not the feedback
People are rarely upset by the feedback itself. They are braced for something worse than what arrives, for weeks beforehand.
Anything that reduces the unknown reduces the cost, and most of that is available to you in advance.
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Write it before they do
Three lists: what you delivered, what did not go well and what you did about it, and what you want next.
Naming your own weak spot first is the single strongest move in a review. It changes the meeting from an assessment into a conversation about a plan.
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Send it in advance
A short summary a few days before gives your manager the material to write from, and managers are usually grateful rather than annoyed.
It also means nothing in the room is new to either of you, which is the whole goal.
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If something critical does land
"Can you give me an example?" is the right response, not a defensive one. A specific example is something you can act on; a general impression is not.
You are also allowed to think about it: "I want to sit with that and come back to you" is a good answer.
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Ask for what you want out loud
The thing you want next — a project, a title, money — has to be said. Reviews are one of the few moments where asking is explicitly expected.
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Rehearse it before you walk in.
Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.
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