Haveo · Social anxiety at work

One-to-ones with your manager

Bring an agenda. A one-to-one with no agenda becomes a test you did not study for — they ask how things are going and you improvise. Three bullets sent the day before turns it into a working meeting you are running.

Whoever brings the agenda runs the meeting

Without one, the shape defaults to your manager asking questions and you answering, which is the version that feels like an assessment.

With one, you are reporting and asking. Same meeting, completely different experience, and it costs three bullets.

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What goes in it

What moved since last time, what is stuck, what you need a decision on. Three lines.

"What is stuck" is the one people leave out, and it is the one that is actually the manager's job.

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Raising something difficult

Say it early in the meeting, not at minute twenty-five. Late-raised things get no time and you spend the whole meeting holding it.

Lead with what you want: "I want to talk about my workload and what we might drop."

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Silence is not a test

Managers often pause because they are thinking. Filling it is how people talk themselves into saying more than they meant.

You can say "that is all from me" and let the meeting end early. Ending early is fine.

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If it keeps getting canceled

Say once that you would like it to happen. A repeatedly canceled one-to-one is a real problem and asking for it is completely reasonable.

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Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

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Common questions

What if I have nothing to report?
Then report that and use it to ask something. "Quiet fortnight — can I ask about the roadmap?" is a perfectly good one-to-one.
Should I raise problems or look competent?
Raise them. Unsurfaced problems become surprises, and a surprise is the thing managers genuinely mind.
Can I ask for feedback directly?
Yes, specifically: "is there anything you would want me doing differently?" General requests get general answers.
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