Haveo · Networking when you need a job

How to ask someone for a referral

Ask people who have seen you work, name the exact role, and write the paragraph for them. A referral fails when it is effortful — give them the link, two lines on why you fit, and an easy way to decline.

Who you can actually ask

Anyone who has seen your work directly: former colleagues, managers, clients, collaborators. They are staking their judgment, so they need to have some.

Someone you met once at an event cannot refer you. They can introduce you, which is a different and much easier ask.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Make it nearly no work

The link to the specific role. Two or three lines they can paste about why you fit it. Your resume attached.

Most referrals die because the person meant to do it and the task never got small enough to finish.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

The message

"Hi [name] — [company] is hiring a [role] and I am applying. We worked together on [project], so you have actually seen me do this. Would you be comfortable putting in a referral? I have pasted a couple of lines below you are welcome to use or ignore. Completely fine if not."

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Give them the exit

"Completely fine if not" at the end matters more than it looks. Without it, someone who is not comfortable referring you often just does not reply, and you lose the contact as well as the referral.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Afterwards

Tell them what happened either way. People who referred someone and never heard the outcome are noticeably less willing the next time.

Get Haveo free on the App Store →

Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

Download Haveo — free

Common questions

What if we have not spoken in years?
Acknowledge it in half a line and ask anyway. Former colleagues are usually glad to hear from someone and a referral is a small thing to give.
Is it rude to ask someone senior?
No, if they saw your work. Referring good people is part of a senior job and most companies pay a bonus for it.
What if they say no?
Thank them and move on without asking why. A no protects a relationship that a pressured yes would damage.
Get Haveo — free on the App Store