Haveo · How to prepare for a networking event when you have social anxiety

How to go to a networking event alone

Go straight to the drinks table, get something to hold, and then approach someone else standing on their own — they are the easiest person in the room and they are hoping somebody does. Arriving alone is an advantage: nobody expects you to already have people.

Do not stop in the doorway

The entrance is where the room looks most impossible, because you are seeing every conversation at once and none of them include you.

Walk to a destination. The drinks table, the coat rack, the registration desk. Moving with a purpose buys you two minutes and a thing to hold.

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Find the other person standing alone

There is always one, usually several, and they are strongly motivated to be spoken to. "Mind if I join you? I don't know anyone here either" is true and it works.

Approaching one person is much easier than joining a group, and it is the conversation most likely to last.

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Going alone beats going with a friend

A friend is a place to hide. Two people who already know each other read as closed, and you can spend a whole evening talking only to the person you came with.

Alone, you have no option but the thing you came for, and everybody in the room reads you as available.

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Arrive early

A half-empty room has no groups to break into. People who arrive early are usually the ones who also find this hard, and conversations start from proximity rather than nerve.

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Have a reason to be standing where you are

Near the food, by the schedule board, looking at whatever is on the wall. A person examining something is approachable; a person scanning the room is not.

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Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

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Common questions

What do I do with my hands?
Hold a drink. It is not a joke — it solves the hands, it gives you a reason to move to the bar, and it makes a pause look normal.
Is it obvious I don't know anyone?
No. Everyone is watching their own situation. The people you assume all know each other usually met an hour ago.
What if nobody talks to me?
Then you approach, which is the plan anyway. Waiting to be approached is the one strategy that reliably produces an evening of not talking.
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