Haveo · Networking when you are ADHD, autistic or dyslexic

Autistic people at networking events

The rules are real, mostly unstated, and largely arbitrary. Learn the three that carry weight — open with something light, leave conversations cleanly, follow up in writing — and ignore the rest. You do not have to enjoy small talk to use it as a doorway.

What small talk is actually for

It is not an exchange of information, which is why it reads as pointless. It is a low-stakes way for two people to check whether a longer conversation is wanted.

Once you treat it as a door rather than a conversation, ninety seconds of weather is easy to produce and easy to stop resenting.

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The three rules worth following

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Depth is not a flaw here

Going deep on one subject with one person is a better networking outcome than circulating. Two people who had a real conversation remember each other; twenty introductions do not.

If you notice the other person disengaging, ask a question. That is the repair, and it works.

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Plan the exits, and the quiet

Know where you can go: outside, a corridor, the far end of the room. Decide before you need it, because deciding while you need it is much harder.

Set an end time. An evening with a known edge is a different thing from an open-ended one.

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Eye contact and the rest

Nobody is scoring it. Looking at someone's eyebrows or mouth reads as identical from across a table, and it costs you far less.

Do not spend the conversation monitoring your own face. That is the thing that actually makes it hard to follow what they are saying.

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Rehearse it before you walk in.

Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.

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Common questions

Should I disclose?
You never owe it. If you want a specific accommodation you can ask for the thing without the label — "could we move somewhere quieter" needs no explanation.
What if I talk too long about one thing?
Ask a question roughly every third turn. It is mechanical rather than a personality change, which is exactly why it works under pressure.
Are these events even worth it for me?
Sometimes not, and that is a legitimate answer. One prepared conversation with a specific person is usually higher value than any mixer.
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