Haveo · Networking when you are ADHD, autistic or dyslexic
Autistic people at networking events
The rules are real, mostly unstated, and largely arbitrary. Learn the three that carry weight — open with something light, leave conversations cleanly, follow up in writing — and ignore the rest. You do not have to enjoy small talk to use it as a doorway.
What small talk is actually for
It is not an exchange of information, which is why it reads as pointless. It is a low-stakes way for two people to check whether a longer conversation is wanted.
Once you treat it as a door rather than a conversation, ninety seconds of weather is easy to produce and easy to stop resenting.
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The three rules worth following
- Open light. The first thirty seconds are not the place for your actual subject. Get through them and the real conversation is allowed.
- Close cleanly. "I'm going to get a drink — good to meet you" ends it without anyone feeling dropped.
- Follow up in writing. This is where you have the advantage. A specific, well-written message a day later beats any amount of charm in the room.
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Depth is not a flaw here
Going deep on one subject with one person is a better networking outcome than circulating. Two people who had a real conversation remember each other; twenty introductions do not.
If you notice the other person disengaging, ask a question. That is the repair, and it works.
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Plan the exits, and the quiet
Know where you can go: outside, a corridor, the far end of the room. Decide before you need it, because deciding while you need it is much harder.
Set an end time. An evening with a known edge is a different thing from an open-ended one.
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Eye contact and the rest
Nobody is scoring it. Looking at someone's eyebrows or mouth reads as identical from across a table, and it costs you far less.
Do not spend the conversation monitoring your own face. That is the thing that actually makes it hard to follow what they are saying.
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Rehearse it before you walk in.
Haveo builds your intro, lets you practice out loud with an AI coach, and keeps your notes one tap away in the room. Free on iPhone and iPad.
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